tinyhouse
Apr
12
2012
Mother of the Year
By tinyhouse
I read a blog post the other day that has kept me thinking.
Lately (as in the past 3 years) I've felt less like a good mother and more like I'm barely a hint of adequate. Of course, in those three years I became pregnant and had a beautiful boy. Who's now 20 months and testing my patience daily. And the big boy was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, with a hefty side of Sensory Processing Disorder, which the current neurological pediatrician says is inaccurate and he's probably not on the Autism Spectrum. And then the baby had a severe hearing loss, for which he wore hearing aids and we started learning ASL and then all of a sudden it resolved itself and now his hearing is nearly perfect. And then the big boy needed more feeding therapy and occupational therapy. And I took on a new doula career. And my sister lived with us for awhile while she was pregnant and had her baby boy. And then I became so lost within myself that it took my husband, exceptional friends, and my psychiatrist to yank me out of my suicidal depression. And on and on.
So it's no wonder that as I near the one year anniversary of losing myself that I'm faced with feelings of guilt and anxiety, and I worry constantly that I'm not doing enough for my boys. I found Pinterest, and blogs, and instagram, and I've wasted so much time looking at glimpses of other people's lives that somewhere along the way I've forgotten what makes me, me. I used to enjoy sewing. I used to love painting, journaling, doodling, hand sewing, cross stitching, embroidering, and quilting. Now that I've made a habit of looking at pictures of other people's lives, I find myself constantly comparing my work to theirs. And beating myself up about it. "Theirs is so much prettier/less-wonky/nicer/better/etc."
My kids didn't get a rainbow themed birthday party with a coordinating dessert table and sparkly unicorn rides. Oh my god! I'm a bad mother, they're not going to Harvard!
I didn't cook a three course gluten free vegetarian meal plus dessert 29 days out of the past month. (With the remaining meals from a organic vegan restaurant specializing in locally-sourced, seasonal food.) Oh my god, my kids are starving and my husband is going to get a mistress.
I didn't sew coordinating quilts and pillows out of reclaimed vintage kimonos and saris for both my boys' beds, wallpaper the walls in this years Pantone color of the year, and hand paint a chandelier of upcycled pop cans and antique wooden toys. Oh my god, I'm officially out of the running for mother of the year. (Forget mother of the decade, I lost that a long time ago.)
I'm rambling...I had a point to this, I swear!
Oh yeah. I've missed all of my hobbies. I like sewing and painting and quilting and all of my old me things. I desperately want to do them again. There's a reason I have a degree in Art...no, not for a career, don't be daft!
I need to step back from the Internet! I know, what a novel idea, right? Is that even possible? I've become so hooked: like a drug addict, I need my daily, hourly fix. But now I need to detox. My sanity demands it. So does my family--my sweet little boys who really just want the mama they have, even if I don't win the mother of the year* award.
But with a funky little man who has limited his diet to about 15 items (not one of them is a fresh fruit or vegetable, by the way) and has resorted to constant tantrums to express his frustration over whatever his little body can't handle (honestly at this point I really don't know exactly what the deal is, and I'm really just like a football referee whenever a tantrum hits--just trying to keep him and anyone around him from being hurt.) And then there's the toddler, who has been getting into EVERYTHING! and climbing on EVERYTHING! and destroying every effort I've made to tidy the house. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a holding pattern--just trying to survive until...I don't know what? College maybe?
So in order to feel a little more like my (old) self, I've proposed to make a daily effort to do one nice thing for myself. Even if that one nice thing is as simple as taking a bath with no one else in the bathroom (or tub!) with me. I'm going to attempt to wear makeup (mostly) daily, put on my favorite perfume, be outside more, and go to the gym more often. I've also started planning out each day the night before--so that when the boys wake me up in the morning I can hit the ground running. Maybe this way I'll get back in the running for mother of the year.**
*Yes, I'm aware that there's no such thing as mother of the year. Duh.
**But wouldn't that be nice?
Lately (as in the past 3 years) I've felt less like a good mother and more like I'm barely a hint of adequate. Of course, in those three years I became pregnant and had a beautiful boy. Who's now 20 months and testing my patience daily. And the big boy was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, with a hefty side of Sensory Processing Disorder, which the current neurological pediatrician says is inaccurate and he's probably not on the Autism Spectrum. And then the baby had a severe hearing loss, for which he wore hearing aids and we started learning ASL and then all of a sudden it resolved itself and now his hearing is nearly perfect. And then the big boy needed more feeding therapy and occupational therapy. And I took on a new doula career. And my sister lived with us for awhile while she was pregnant and had her baby boy. And then I became so lost within myself that it took my husband, exceptional friends, and my psychiatrist to yank me out of my suicidal depression. And on and on.
So it's no wonder that as I near the one year anniversary of losing myself that I'm faced with feelings of guilt and anxiety, and I worry constantly that I'm not doing enough for my boys. I found Pinterest, and blogs, and instagram, and I've wasted so much time looking at glimpses of other people's lives that somewhere along the way I've forgotten what makes me, me. I used to enjoy sewing. I used to love painting, journaling, doodling, hand sewing, cross stitching, embroidering, and quilting. Now that I've made a habit of looking at pictures of other people's lives, I find myself constantly comparing my work to theirs. And beating myself up about it. "Theirs is so much prettier/less-wonky/nicer/better/etc."
My kids didn't get a rainbow themed birthday party with a coordinating dessert table and sparkly unicorn rides. Oh my god! I'm a bad mother, they're not going to Harvard!
I didn't cook a three course gluten free vegetarian meal plus dessert 29 days out of the past month. (With the remaining meals from a organic vegan restaurant specializing in locally-sourced, seasonal food.) Oh my god, my kids are starving and my husband is going to get a mistress.
I didn't sew coordinating quilts and pillows out of reclaimed vintage kimonos and saris for both my boys' beds, wallpaper the walls in this years Pantone color of the year, and hand paint a chandelier of upcycled pop cans and antique wooden toys. Oh my god, I'm officially out of the running for mother of the year. (Forget mother of the decade, I lost that a long time ago.)
I'm rambling...I had a point to this, I swear!
Oh yeah. I've missed all of my hobbies. I like sewing and painting and quilting and all of my old me things. I desperately want to do them again. There's a reason I have a degree in Art...no, not for a career, don't be daft!
I need to step back from the Internet! I know, what a novel idea, right? Is that even possible? I've become so hooked: like a drug addict, I need my daily, hourly fix. But now I need to detox. My sanity demands it. So does my family--my sweet little boys who really just want the mama they have, even if I don't win the mother of the year* award.
But with a funky little man who has limited his diet to about 15 items (not one of them is a fresh fruit or vegetable, by the way) and has resorted to constant tantrums to express his frustration over whatever his little body can't handle (honestly at this point I really don't know exactly what the deal is, and I'm really just like a football referee whenever a tantrum hits--just trying to keep him and anyone around him from being hurt.) And then there's the toddler, who has been getting into EVERYTHING! and climbing on EVERYTHING! and destroying every effort I've made to tidy the house. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a holding pattern--just trying to survive until...I don't know what? College maybe?
So in order to feel a little more like my (old) self, I've proposed to make a daily effort to do one nice thing for myself. Even if that one nice thing is as simple as taking a bath with no one else in the bathroom (or tub!) with me. I'm going to attempt to wear makeup (mostly) daily, put on my favorite perfume, be outside more, and go to the gym more often. I've also started planning out each day the night before--so that when the boys wake me up in the morning I can hit the ground running. Maybe this way I'll get back in the running for mother of the year.**
*Yes, I'm aware that there's no such thing as mother of the year. Duh.
**But wouldn't that be nice?
Posted April 12, 2012 21:16 | read more
Mar
12
2012
The Shop is Open!
By tinyhouse
Just a quick note to say that I've re-opened Tiny House. I hope you'll visit!
For now I have crayon rolls and (destashing) craft books listed.
Posted March 12, 2012 09:46 | read more
Mar
08
2012
It's Been Awhile...
By tinyhouse
I've been waffling back and forth, whether or not to continue writing in this space. I think that the urge to hibernate over the winter has had something to do with my reluctance to share, but with the arrival of spring soon, I'm feeling more like myself--wanting to get out in the world. I believe I'm going to continue for now, and see what happens down the road.
That said, I have some catching up to do!
My first pattern was published in Simply Handmade Sewing! It's a little linen pouch with a hexie-flower appliqué!
That said, I have some catching up to do!
My first pattern was published in Simply Handmade Sewing! It's a little linen pouch with a hexie-flower appliqué!
I stitched:
I knitted:
I baked:
My girls started laying eggs!
I had my tonsils out and spent two weeks doing NOTHING.
We went to Las Vegas, by ourselves, with no children.
We went to Las Vegas, by ourselves, with no children.
But mostly I spent time with my little family, enjoying our quiet days.
Posted March 08, 2012 06:14 | read more
Jan
01
2012
Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012!
By tinyhouse
2011 Projects ( not everything, but you get the idea!)
1. New Pillows!, 2. Washi Tape Phone Cover!, 3. Treat Bag, 4. Fall Runner (Front), 5. Bags!, 6. Hexagon Bag, 7. Drawstring Bag, 8. Mermaid Bag, 9. Mug Rug for Me, 10. Friendship Bracelet, 11. Pirate Pouch for a Friend, 12. Needle Roll for Mom, 13. Untitled, 14. Knitted Socks!, 15. Leapster Case, 16. Cocoa Cross Stitch, 17. Conversation Hearts, 18. Mug Rug, 19. Knitting Notions Bag, 20. Quilt for Callie, 21. DQS Completed, 22. Painting, 23. UHGS Completed!, 24. Sketching, 25. Working on Fini's blanket
Here's hoping 2012 is a kind year! It's my THIRTIETH! BIRTHDAY! on the 4th. I'm not quite looking forward to this one. It's big. But I've heard it's a good one, so I'm thinking positive thoughts.
Posted January 01, 2012 20:03 | read more
Nov
04
2011
Halloween!
By tinyhouse
(I didn't make Nibbler's costume.) I couldn't resist the hot dog costume for the dog. Poor thing, she was humiliated. But we were photographed for the local paper, so she'll live.
Eamon is so into Star Wars right now...so it was only fitting that Fini be an Ewok to his brother's Jedi Knight costume. In an effort to be nice to myself, I purchased the little sweatsuit for Fini, then free-formed an Ewok hood. It took about 20 minutes, but people who know Star Wars could tell what he was, so that was all that mattered!
Eamon's costume, on the other hand, took days. After the success of last year's Buzz Lightyear costume, I figured I needed to spend some time and make something that could take a lot of wear and tear. I couldn't find a pattern for a child's hooded robe, so I used an adult's pattern, and graded it down to size. It was a lot of pinning and trying on, but the finished robe is pretty cute. I regret not finishing off the inside seams, so I might go back and do that. I've already had to wash it upwards of 10 times, so I imagine it's going to disintegrate if I don't.
The pants and shirt are a karate gi pattern, with a few little changes (wider sleeves and a different front shape,) plus a slimmer fit to the pants for my skinny little guy. I whipped out the "newtility" (that's seriously what he calls it--too cute!) belt in about 10 minutes from a folded over piece of linen and some "d" rings.
I think the best thing about Eamon's costume is the fabric--I used a few JoAnn's coupons and got 100% linen for 50% off. I know he'll wear the heck out of it, so a quality fabric was a good choice. Maybe it will even last long enough for Fini to wear!
He really loved his costume this year!
Posted November 04, 2011 20:29 | read more
Oct
20
2011
Trick or Treat Bag
By tinyhouse
Eamon was so excited when I finished his treat bag! I brought it with me when I picked him up from school, and he wore it on his head the whole way home. But he wouldn't let me take a picture of his new "hat," so we found a tree for him to pose by. He arranged the whole photo shoot, and told me which photos I could post. So here we have it!
Posted October 20, 2011 08:43 | read more
Oct
19
2011
Washi Tape Phone Cover
By tinyhouse
The other day I was planning to cross stitch an image for my phone cover. But I couldn't find a picture I liked, and I already had the clear case. And a stack of washi tape (love this stuff!) Enter "aha moment!"
(I wouldn't call this a tutorial, because I'm pretty sure my toddler could do this, but just in case:) I cleaned my phone, then applied the washi tape directly to the outside. (It's paper tape, and has a pretty low sticky-residue-leaving factor.) Then popped on the case, trimmed the edges with an exact knife--being very careful not to cut into my phone--and voila!
Posted October 19, 2011 20:38 | read more
Oct
14
2011
Made From Crazy
By tinyhouse
I'm pretty sure the UPS man thinks I'm made from crazy. Wild hair barely contained by my scarf (it's cute and vintage, at least,) flour all over my clothes, dog barking, and kids running/crawling to the door: the older one shouting, "the delivery bus is here!"
Oh, well.
I'm making chicken and corn chowder with sweet potato biscuits for dinner. It smells so good: garlicky, onion-y, and biscuit-y.
Go on, make the biscuits, you know you want to. The crazy is optional.
Sweet Potato Biscuits, about 20
Recipe adapted from the 3191 blog, originally adapted from Martha Stewart Living.
1 pound sweet potatoes or yam (one large one is usually sufficient)
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
8 tablespoons unsalted butter (chilled), cut into small pieces
1/2 cup milk
Preheat oven to 400 degrees
Prick the sweet potato and bake until soft (about one hour...you can also do this more quickly in a microwave). Once the sweet potato has cooled, scoop the flesh from the skin and pass through a food mill, ricer or sieve. You should have about 1 3/4 cups puree.
Stir together the flour, baking powder, salt and cayenne. Cut in butter with your hands until it resembles a course meal. Mix milk with sweet potato puree and add it to the other ingredients. Mix dough, just to incorporate (I use my hands). If the dough is really sticky, add a touch more flour. Turn dough out onto floured surface and knead a few times. Pat out to a 1/2 inch thickness. Cut biscuits into squares, or use an overturned glass to make circles (we don't have special biscuits here, square works for crazies.) Place on greased cookie sheet, then into preheated oven and cook until risen and slightly brown, about 10 minutes (longer for larger biscuits). Serve warm.
Oh, well.
I'm making chicken and corn chowder with sweet potato biscuits for dinner. It smells so good: garlicky, onion-y, and biscuit-y.
Go on, make the biscuits, you know you want to. The crazy is optional.
Sweet Potato Biscuits, about 20
Recipe adapted from the 3191 blog, originally adapted from Martha Stewart Living.
1 pound sweet potatoes or yam (one large one is usually sufficient)
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
8 tablespoons unsalted butter (chilled), cut into small pieces
1/2 cup milk
Preheat oven to 400 degrees
Prick the sweet potato and bake until soft (about one hour...you can also do this more quickly in a microwave). Once the sweet potato has cooled, scoop the flesh from the skin and pass through a food mill, ricer or sieve. You should have about 1 3/4 cups puree.
Stir together the flour, baking powder, salt and cayenne. Cut in butter with your hands until it resembles a course meal. Mix milk with sweet potato puree and add it to the other ingredients. Mix dough, just to incorporate (I use my hands). If the dough is really sticky, add a touch more flour. Turn dough out onto floured surface and knead a few times. Pat out to a 1/2 inch thickness. Cut biscuits into squares, or use an overturned glass to make circles (we don't have special biscuits here, square works for crazies.) Place on greased cookie sheet, then into preheated oven and cook until risen and slightly brown, about 10 minutes (longer for larger biscuits). Serve warm.
Posted October 14, 2011 15:29 | read more
Oct
09
2011
Fall!
By tinyhouse
I'm so happy it's fall! What little bit of summer we had was nice and all, but I'm more of a sweater wearing, soup cooking, bread baking, candle burning kind of girl.
E and I spent a Saturday morning recently running errands and stopping off for a coffee/hot chocolate with our new books. Bliss.
We found out F's hearing loss has reversed itself--he no longer has to wear hearing aids! In fact, the audiologist said he has "textbook perfect" hearing! So, so happy!!!
I sent in my doula certification paperwork! Now I'm just waiting to hear that I'm certified!
Daybook:
Outside my window...the occasional car. It's Sunday night, so pretty quiet.
I am thinking...that I'd like the vicodin to kick in.
I am thankful for...understanding people.
I am wearing...pajamas.
I am remembering...that I have a lot to tomorrow.
I am going...to work harder at keeping the house cleaner. It's not terrible, but it's not as well-kept as I'd like.
I am currently reading...Anil's Ghost.
I am hoping...that I do not catch the boys' nasty respiratory infection.
On my mind...midwifery, doula-ing, a ton of projects that I hope to have time to finish, Halloween costumes (Star Wars!,) grocery shopping.
Noticing that...I'm much happier if I take the time to do a really good job with my chores.
Pondering these words..."Mama!"
From the kitchen...pumpkin bread, apple butter, applesauce, gluten free peanut butter cookies, peach BBQ sauce, vanilla honey peach butter, the last of the roasted tomatoes, fresh bread (in 5 minutes a day!) and butternut squash soup.
Around the house...so. many. freaking. legos.
One of my favorite things...Our family doctor's cell phone number.
E and I spent a Saturday morning recently running errands and stopping off for a coffee/hot chocolate with our new books. Bliss.
We found out F's hearing loss has reversed itself--he no longer has to wear hearing aids! In fact, the audiologist said he has "textbook perfect" hearing! So, so happy!!!
I sent in my doula certification paperwork! Now I'm just waiting to hear that I'm certified!
Daybook:
Outside my window...the occasional car. It's Sunday night, so pretty quiet.
I am thinking...that I'd like the vicodin to kick in.
I am thankful for...understanding people.
I am wearing...pajamas.
I am remembering...that I have a lot to tomorrow.
I am going...to work harder at keeping the house cleaner. It's not terrible, but it's not as well-kept as I'd like.
I am currently reading...Anil's Ghost.
I am hoping...that I do not catch the boys' nasty respiratory infection.
On my mind...midwifery, doula-ing, a ton of projects that I hope to have time to finish, Halloween costumes (Star Wars!,) grocery shopping.
Noticing that...I'm much happier if I take the time to do a really good job with my chores.
Pondering these words..."Mama!"
From the kitchen...pumpkin bread, apple butter, applesauce, gluten free peanut butter cookies, peach BBQ sauce, vanilla honey peach butter, the last of the roasted tomatoes, fresh bread (in 5 minutes a day!) and butternut squash soup.
Around the house...so. many. freaking. legos.
One of my favorite things...Our family doctor's cell phone number.
Posted October 09, 2011 22:55 | read more
Aug
29
2011
Twitchy
By tinyhouse
I'm positively twitchy for Fall...I can't wait for deeper colors, pumpkin spice, leaves crunching, Halloween, Thanksgiving, lots of friends and family, and fires in the fireplace!!!
Posted August 29, 2011 21:57 | read more
Aug
15
2011
Zipper Pouch
By tinyhouse
I can't decide whether or not to keep this one...on the one hand, I love the mermaid and umbrella fabrics, but on the other I have a tons of zipper pouches...maybe I'll put it in the shop?
Posted August 15, 2011 22:29 | read more
